I left my heart...

Tony Bennett may have left his heart in San Francisco, but mine was left in Tanzania. (Same number of syllables, so it fits nicely into the song)...

I have been back from Africa for 4 days now, and I am having a problem being totally present in the Twin Cities. My body is here, but my mind and heart keep drifting back to my time on the mountain, in the towns, and on safari. The sights, the smells, the sounds (or total silence), envelope me whenever I close my eyes. I miss it so much already.

See, I knew when I started this process, that the trip was going to change me. There was no way that it couldn't. I knew that my body would change, because of the training and the physical challenge of climbing that mountain. I knew that my brain would have to take on challenges that it never had, just to get me up to the summit and back down. I also knew that my heart would expand to take in all of the new things that I would experience. I just didn't realize how much it would alter my reality.

My comfort zone has been stretched beyond any limits I could have imagined at the start. I have many new friends, including my fellow climbers and the amazing team of guides, porters, and others, who all helped us reach the summit and return safely.
It truly DOES take a village!

I have a new-found respect for my body and the limits it can transcend when necessary. I understand, more fully, the benefits of going slowly and deliberately into the day. And I know that, when my heart is truly in it, I can do anything...ANYTHING.

But here's the strange thing...I know all of these things in my mind, but I have not fully integrated them yet. It is like when you are packing for a trip and you have a stack of things you want to take with you. But the suitcase is all the way across the room, and the things are not in it yet. You know that they will make it in there eventually, but, right now, there is a disconnect. A space between what you want, what you know, and what is. That is how I am feeling. It is like I opened a door when I went to Africa, and I expanded my life and living space. Now I have all of these things floating around in the space, and I am not exactly sure where to put them. I feel a bit untethered.

I am pretty sure that, soon enough, everything will find its proper place, and I will be able to feel the lessons as well as see them in my mind. But right now, it is a strange place to be. When the connections are made, I will share more insights and memories. For now I will revel in the joy of my accomplishment, and the gratitude that I feel for the experience. My heart is full...and some of it is across the sea, in beautiful Africa.
Me at the summit...the rooftop of Africa!


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