90 days ago, we began our trek...
Okay, so I have given it some time. My experiences from the mountain are starting to feel more like a part of me, and less like something nebulous, floating around me like a cloud. Although, I have to say that I was more than a little disappointed that I didn't have the profound transformation that I was hoping for.
Remember, a few posts ago, when I was talking about Moses going up the mountain and coming back down totally changed? Well, as crazy as that sounds, that was what I was expecting. I wanted to come back home and have it be more than obvious that I had done something incredible, and had been forever altered. I wanted to look at the world, my world, with totally new eyes, and see things differently. I wanted there to be a glow about me that made people wonder what it was that I had experienced.
Instead, I came back and it almost felt like nothing had happened. Just that I had gone on a cool vacation, and was now back to resume where I had left off. I wasn't radiating with anything. It wasn't obvious that I had accomplished a pretty amazing feat. In fact, when I told a few people what I had done, they said, "YOU?! You climbed Kilimanjaro? Really?" as though they couldn't believe that someone like me could ever do something like that. It was a little disconcerting.
But I DID do it. And I AM forever changed. And that mountain, the people, and the experiences are embedded in my soul now. It may not have been the dramatic transformation that my lil ol' actor's heart was hoping for, but I realize at some point nearly every day, that I did learn...I did grow...and I DO see the world with new eyes now.
So here is the first installment of the things that I have discovered in the 90 days since I set foot in Africa...
It was nothing like I had imagined. Nothing. See, when you are planning something like this, something that is so far outside of anything you have ever experienced, you try to cram it into a frame of reference from your past. Just so it will make some sort of sense to you. The only thing I had to compare it to was the 3 Day. It was the only endurance activity that I have done, that involved multiple days of "strenuous" activity. So that was where my mind went. I threw in a few references to some of the hikes I had taken up larger hills in the parks around the state, just to get some idea of "altitude". HA! The other details I could only imagine. I had never climbed a mountain. I had never camped in cold weather. I had never subjected my body to such rigorous activity for 6 full days. So I had no idea what it would do to me. The only thing that I DID know was that my friend Jenne had climbed it...twice...and survived to tell the tale...so I was hopeful that I could do it too. And I did.
Remember, a few posts ago, when I was talking about Moses going up the mountain and coming back down totally changed? Well, as crazy as that sounds, that was what I was expecting. I wanted to come back home and have it be more than obvious that I had done something incredible, and had been forever altered. I wanted to look at the world, my world, with totally new eyes, and see things differently. I wanted there to be a glow about me that made people wonder what it was that I had experienced.
Instead, I came back and it almost felt like nothing had happened. Just that I had gone on a cool vacation, and was now back to resume where I had left off. I wasn't radiating with anything. It wasn't obvious that I had accomplished a pretty amazing feat. In fact, when I told a few people what I had done, they said, "YOU?! You climbed Kilimanjaro? Really?" as though they couldn't believe that someone like me could ever do something like that. It was a little disconcerting.
But I DID do it. And I AM forever changed. And that mountain, the people, and the experiences are embedded in my soul now. It may not have been the dramatic transformation that my lil ol' actor's heart was hoping for, but I realize at some point nearly every day, that I did learn...I did grow...and I DO see the world with new eyes now.
So here is the first installment of the things that I have discovered in the 90 days since I set foot in Africa...
It was nothing like I had imagined. Nothing. See, when you are planning something like this, something that is so far outside of anything you have ever experienced, you try to cram it into a frame of reference from your past. Just so it will make some sort of sense to you. The only thing I had to compare it to was the 3 Day. It was the only endurance activity that I have done, that involved multiple days of "strenuous" activity. So that was where my mind went. I threw in a few references to some of the hikes I had taken up larger hills in the parks around the state, just to get some idea of "altitude". HA! The other details I could only imagine. I had never climbed a mountain. I had never camped in cold weather. I had never subjected my body to such rigorous activity for 6 full days. So I had no idea what it would do to me. The only thing that I DID know was that my friend Jenne had climbed it...twice...and survived to tell the tale...so I was hopeful that I could do it too. And I did.
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It was HARD!
I don't normally use that word, hard, in reference to a task. That was banished from my vocabulary during my "health project" 8 years ago. I usually substitute challenging, because it implies that victory will be yours, with a little perseverance. But this WAS hard, and there were moments that I wasn't sure about that elusive victory. Especially on summit night, when we had been hiking for hours, in the dark, in the cold, practically straight up. My calves were screaming. My body really wanted to quit and just sit down. But stopping wasn't an option, I would freeze, literally. And there was no way I wasn't going to reach that summit! Not if I had anything to say about it...and I DID!
There were different things that kept me going that night...but a really powerful one was the quote, "I didn't come this far, to only come this far". See, I have a difficult time falling short of expectations. When I say that I am going to do something, I fully intend to see it through to completion. When something happens to stop me short of achieving that finish line, I struggle. I don't want to disappoint...myself or other people. So the thought of not making it to the summit (and back down again...more on that later) was not something that was an option for me. I didn't do all of that training, put forth all of that effort, and travel all that way, just to fall short of my goal. So I kept going, and I made it, and I have the pictures, the certificate, and the bragging rights. Pretty cool.
No, I didn't have my transformational AHA moment, but I am grateful that I had the experience. And who knows what might come of it in the days/weeks/months to come. I am proud of the accomplishment, and happy that I have made some new friends along the way. And I DID get to stand on the rooftop of Africa and look around, and that was pretty damn amazing.
There were different things that kept me going that night...but a really powerful one was the quote, "I didn't come this far, to only come this far". See, I have a difficult time falling short of expectations. When I say that I am going to do something, I fully intend to see it through to completion. When something happens to stop me short of achieving that finish line, I struggle. I don't want to disappoint...myself or other people. So the thought of not making it to the summit (and back down again...more on that later) was not something that was an option for me. I didn't do all of that training, put forth all of that effort, and travel all that way, just to fall short of my goal. So I kept going, and I made it, and I have the pictures, the certificate, and the bragging rights. Pretty cool.
No, I didn't have my transformational AHA moment, but I am grateful that I had the experience. And who knows what might come of it in the days/weeks/months to come. I am proud of the accomplishment, and happy that I have made some new friends along the way. And I DID get to stand on the rooftop of Africa and look around, and that was pretty damn amazing.
More stories to come...stay tuned!
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