The Genie in the Lamp

I have a lamp in my living room. It is one of those lamps that were popular in the 70s, the ones that you turn on and off by touching the lamp itself. No switch, just tapping the metal surface of the lamp turns it on, changes the level of light, or turns it off. My mom bought it when she redid our living room when I was a kid, then it moved with my dad to Arkansas, Finally, it came to live at my house after I cleaned out his apartment last year. There is a lot of nostalgia in that lamp, and it was something that I was compelled to load in my car and bring back with me…after all, it has been in my life for almost 50 years.

The thing is, I am convinced that my dad is using it to communicate with me from “the great beyond”.

A bit of background on my dad:
He was a caretaker. His main priority in life, the thing that fueled most everything that he did, was the support of those he loved. His father left his family (mom and 4 kids) when my dad was about 10. Being the eldest child, a lot of the responsibility to help the family fell to him. He learned early on how to take care of things. Then his mom died when he was about 19. All of that "training" that he got from working at his mother’s side to take care of the family was called into play. His sole objective was to make sure that his siblings were taken care of and protected.

Fast forward a few years when he met my mom and all of a sudden his focus shifted. His siblings were old enough now, and didn't not really need him full time anymore, so he redirected his energy toward taking care of the love of his life. Then my brother and I came on the scene and we got to share in that support.

Not having the role model of a demonstrative and emotional father to lead the way, my dad was never really all that “huggy”. That kind of affection was just not his style. He showed his love by working hard and making sure that we had what we needed.

That was how I grew up. There was never any doubt in my mind that he loved me, but if I was looking for a hug as proof, I would be waiting a long time. After I moved out of the house, if I called home to talk and dad answered, he would immediately hand the phone to my mom because the emotional stuff was her department. After she died we worked together to build a new way of connecting. We made some progress, but direct communication was never really his strong suit. That said, I never for a second doubted that he cared and would jump in to help me whenever I needed it.

My dad passed away at the end of last year, 4 days before his 89th birthday. Just like that, the man who got me hooked on crossword puzzles, taught me how to ride a bike, and helped me figure out why my car was making that weird sound, was gone. And I miss him.

But here’s where the lamp comes in. On more than one occasion since he left this earth, I have been in situations where I was stressed or frightened. I will come downstairs in the morning and the lamp (which had not been on when I went to bed) is lit. Or there have been a few times when I will gain a big insight/inspiration or something cool is about to happen, and the light will inexplicably be on when I walk into the room. Coincidence? Maybe. But I prefer to think that my dad is still looking out for me, letting me know that I am not alone when I am frightened. Or encouraging me to pay attention because there is important information coming my way.

Maybe it is just a power surge that is causing it to light up. I can accept that. But they say that we are all made up of energy and we never really "go away", we just transform into something else. So if part of that energy that was once my dad wants to light a lamp to show me the way?….I’ll take it.