Everything I need to know...
Does it ever feel like you are re-learning the same lessons over and over again? Or is it just me? When I look at things that are happening in my life, I have a weird sense of deja vu...same situations just different characters and/or setting. I could have sworn that I already learned this lesson, filed it away in my memory banks, and had it on-call for the next time a similar situation arose. But that doesn't really seem to be the case, and the training I have been doing for the climb has really brought that to the forefront for me.
For some things it just feels like a refresher course, a gentle nudge to bring the hard-won lesson out of the memory banks for use in the current situation. For example, the importance of relaxing and unplugging sometimes. Our fearless leader, Jenne, has stressed this often in our conversations and in the training posts that she sends. And I have taken it in, nodded my head in total agreement, and then proceeded to totally blow past it in my own daily life. When I have projects that I am working on, or things with which I am involved, I am usually full speed ahead. I think that, sometimes, it is a way to keep me moving, so as to not get overwhelmed with the enormity of it all. That is not necessarily a bad thing. But sometimes that train takes the full speed ahead into overdrive, and there is no way to stop it without completely walking away for a bit.
I had no idea I was at that point, until recently, when I went off the grid for a few days on a visit to my dad. He lives in a small-ish town in Arkansas, no wifi, and very little to do, outside of spending time with each other. So that was what I did. For 3 days, I spent time with my nephews, my brother, my sister-in-law, and my dad. We cooked, organized the garage, and went swimming. I checked my email maybe once a day, and that was that. It was HEAVENLY! Disconnecting from social media, taking time away from work, and even turning my training into joyful interactions with my family was exactly what I needed to re-energize all of it. The train stopped hurtling down the tracks and I was able to see the scenery more clearly, instead of it being a colorful blur outside the window. Not saying that it didn't pick up speed once I was home again, and back to my daily life. But that little respite took the edge off, and allowed me to replenish the reserves that I had been tapping into in order to just keep going day to day.
Now, this is not NEW information. It is not a ground-breaking discovery. It is something that I have learned many times over. But sometimes the reminder comes with such force it is like the Universe is smacking me upside the head with a giant DUH! And oftentimes I need that.
Another big, screaming DUH that I experienced came shortly after starting the training for this climb. Before this, I was going to the gym a few times a week to try to stay in some sort of decent shape. But now, I was amping up my workouts, working on building endurance and cardio vascular strength. It wasn't a giant change, it just felt like I was just adding a little more structure to what I was already doing. At the same time, I was noticing that I was feeling light-headed. Nothing major, it didn't affect my balance or anything, it was just a vague sense of fogginess, almost like a protracted head rush from standing up too quickly. And I was only really noticing it when I was sitting still. But it was there, practically every day. At first I just brushed it off, figuring it was just the change of seasons and probably some sort of sinus thing. Allergies. But when it hung around for a few weeks, my brain started going off on all sorts of tangents. I even got to the point where I was googling symptoms. NOT A GOOD IDEA...EVER! But I started to get concerned. Fortunately I had my scheduled check in with my oncologist, so I knew that I could ask his opinion. And he could tell me if the brain tumor I was sure I probably had, would stop me from completing this trek.
So I went to my appointment and I talked to the nurse practitioner that works with my doctor. I told her my concern, and the first question that she asked me was, "are you drinking enough water?" "Um, duh!" I scoffed. (I mean, I have been through 12 Breast Cancer 3 Days! All you hear, all weekend long is DRINK WATER, DRINK GATORADE, AND THEN DRINK SOME MORE WATER! Eat, Drink, Pee..no I.V. is the anthem of the event. If I don't know that by now...there is no hope for me.) So I brushed that theory away and awaited other options. She didn't seem overly concerned, because I didn't have any other symptoms, but she told me to talk to the doctor when he came in. So I did. I told him of my plight, and he asked me, "are you drinking enough water?" Jeez! Are these people working for a water company or something?! Of course I am....um....wait a minute....
I had amped up my workout, but not the amount of water I was drinking. I WAS DEHYDRATED! (the biggest DUH of all) My mentors from the 3 Day would be shaking their heads and clucking their tongues. (And for all of you 3 Day veterans who remember the training video from the very first event in 2004, all I could think was...you'd better do it, or you could DIE!) Once I started drinking more water, the dizzy feeling went away, and I have been fine ever since. See, even a lesson I had hammered into my head for over 10 years didn't stick. Crazy.
I have a feeling that there will always be lessons that I continue to re-learn. It is just the human condition. But, every once in a while, I hope that there are some that actually stick, especially some of the more challenging ones. Because I really would like to take some of that brain power and put it toward learning NEW stuff and enjoying the stuff that I already know.
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